Read This if You Feel Like Giving Up and Want to Feel Hope Again
You’re done.
You’ve had it.
You just can’t do it anymore.
I get it. We’ve all been there in some way, shape, or form of “I’ve had it.”
You are not alone.
There were so many times I had it.
Whether it was with a relationship or a job.
The job I couldn’t see myself at passed lunch or the relationship I tried to leave numerous times. With several false attempts of, “I’ve really had it this time, I’m out of here. No, seriously, this time I’m done.” To finally leaving for good (albeit years later). Then wondering why, I didn’t leave sooner?
Those turned out to be good “I’ve had it. I give up” moments for me. When you finally summon the courage to walk away from the toxic job or relationship that is crushing your soul.
It took me years to realize that if I deserved more, it wasn’t up to them to give it to me, no matter how much I demanded it. Instead, it was a lesson for me to walk away from people and places that weren’t treating me well. However, sometimes the fear of the unknown keeps you stuck. It seems like the crap you know is better than the crap you don’t know.
You realize how crazy it was to believe that way once you’re out of it. But a fearful mind can make you think a lot of illogical things are logical. Like staying in a bad job or relationship because you’re a loyal person or because you “love” them, is a good idea.
I know this is supposed to be a story about hope and not giving up. And in a roundabout way, this is a story about hope and not giving up. It’s about not giving on you and what you want. Because sometimes what you want isn’t what you have at the moment, but about knowing your worth and not settling for less. And truth is, it’s a lot better to be alone and in the presence of your own beautiful self than it is to be with someone who doesn’t see your worth.
One thing I know, when you leave the toxic job or relationship you make room for something better to come in. You don’t need to jump into the next thing. Just making room for peace in your life is way undervalued and a great place to be.
Hope For the Solopreneur
As a life coach and solopreneur, I know there are also times you may feel so fed up because your launch didn’t work out the way you had hoped after working so hard on it. Or your blog isn’t gaining traction. And “no,” this is not an invitation for business coaches to reach out to me, but a moment to say to coaches and solopreneurs, I get it. I understand what you’re going through. I’ve been there.
But, I am going to share with you the one thought that always gets me through my most challenging moments. The one thing that keeps me going on those days where I just want to give up.
And it’s this…
If you give up because you’re done trying,
then you signed your own deal where you guarantee yourself nothing will ever happen.
Read that again.
The reason you want to give up is because nothing was happening. So now you’re going to give up to make sure nothing happens?
Again, the fearful mind doesn’t make sense.
At least if I kept trying, I give myself a chance.
This single thought helps me to keep going.
Sure, take a day out for self-care. I tell my clients, “Your self-care will look different depending on your needs.”
Someday, self-care looks like staying in your PJs all day.
Sometimes self-care may look like taking a long drive with the music full blast.
Or maybe it looks like taking a long walk in nature.
On other days it may look like a yoga class or an inspirational audiobook.
Now, we’re talking and getting out of our head and out of our negative thoughts and getting somewhere again. Reading or listening to motivational books or podcasts work because they interrupt and change the thought patterns going on in our heads and start telling us a new story. One of hope.
Do whatever it is that your soul needs for a day, maybe two, and then it’s time to get back and get busy. Start thinking about what you need to take yourself to the next level?
The Difference Between Those Who Make and Those Who Don’t
Those Who Don’t Make It
Those who don’t make it have the mentality that success should come after that course, after that launch, or after hard work. And you’re ready to throw up your hands because you tried. Tried so many times. Tried so many different things, but nothing’s working? I know; I’ve felt the same.
Those Who Do Make It
I read and listened to a lot of motivational books. Oprah always seems to be my favorite. Her voice is always so calming for me when I am freaking out. What I found is the difference between those who make it and those who don’t is they have a hunger and drive to make it. Nothing is getting in the way of their goal.
Stick-to-it·ive·ness
They also had stick-to-it·ive·ness, where I noticed, I was bouncing around from one thing to the next to see what would stick? While getting my coaching practice launched, I wrote a book. But rather than focusing on marketing for my coaching practice or my book, I started a print on demand t-shirt business. I have no regrets. I still enjoyed doing it, but I should have been more focused solely on my practice if that is where I wanted growth. I later switched gears and took a coaching/small business marketing course. Keep your focus on one thing where you want to see growth. Nurture and cultivate it.
Persistence
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling probably has the biggest success story. Not only is she famous for writing Harry Potter, but for how many times she submitted Harry Potter to different publishers. The first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected 12 times until it was finally picked up by Bloomsbury Publishing. How many of us would have given up after 3 tries, maybe even 5 tries? However, with each rejection, J.K. Rowling became even more determined to succeed. For more motivation, you can read her story here.
Even the Beatles and Beyonce were rejected early on in their careers. Rejection didn’t stop them either. We see their highlight reels and wonder why that isn’t us? We don’t see is what they went through to get where they are now. You can read about it here. If you want to read more about other celebrities who were rejected and made it, click here. It’s fun to read now because we know how successful they became.
No Such Thing As Failure
People who make it learn from their mistakes. They look for opportunities and solutions when a door closes. Learning from your mistakes or finding a solution may take you down a different path than you originally intended. Netflix may not be an individual, but they are another excellent example of how to seek opportunities when a door closes and evolve with the times. The company could have folded if it didn’t shift from a DVD mail order service to a hugely successful online movie streaming service. If they thought they were defeated and gave up, Netflix would have never seen the success they have today. Be willing to reinvent yourself again and again.
Bold Risk Takers
Those who make it are also bold and risk takers. It means getting out of your comfort zone. Being a life coach or any type of coach, influencer, or solopreneur is going to make you face every fear and challenge you’ve ever imagined. I hated putting myself out there and a lot of us do. But those who make it have their share of fears but they face it and work their way through it.
You got into the business because you wanted to help people. What you didn’t know is that you are the product. You are the brand. You are going to have to put yourself up front and center on social media through Instagram reels, YouTube videos, blog posts, podcast interviews, or public speaking gigs. Because in order for your clients to book you or buy what you have, they have to find you. This also means learning how to write, shoot, edit, produce a reel or YouTube video, learn how to write a great blog, learn SEO, learn how to deliver an effective speech, and so much more.
Patience
You are taking baby steps to growth here. This is marathon not a sprint. Growth and success take time. Don’t look at the goal, but look at how much you have gained and I bet you will see you have been growing. Remember, stick-to-it·ive·ness.
When You Feel Like Giving Up
Take the time out and throw a fierce temper tantrum. It’s good to get angry. Let it out. You deserve to be angry. You put a lot of hard work in. You’ve tried and tried again, and it still hasn’t been working. I know, I get it. I’m with you. I hear you.
Then after you’re done getting it out, remember, it’s time to get serious again.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. What didn’t work, and why didn’t it work the last time?
Really be honest with yourself. Did you follow through on everything or did you corners?
2. What do I need to do? What has been holding me back, that’s going to take to get me to the next level to succeed?
3. Do you have the hunger, drive, and determination to make it?
4. What am I willing to do or not do to make it?
If your answer is “no,” to #3. Then maybe being an entrepreneur isn’t for you? #4 will help you answer that question. It may also be time to hire a business coach (This is not a sales pitch. I am a resilience mindset coach not a business coach). Or how about after you’re done reading this, look up the best motivational books and buy one. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve heard invest in yourself. Try investing yourself in different ways. You’ve done the coaching courses; now take the marketing, public speaking, writing, or storytelling course.
Pro-Tip: If you’re in for the long haul, but you’re running out of money. Take a job that will help you pay the bills until you get your business off the ground. This will help you feel less fearful and in a rush.
Lastly, I want to say, if you do decide to give up. Remember, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not failure. It may be the beginning of something wonderful.
I hope these tips help to light you up and motivate you to get you back into you’re “A” game again.
. . .
Kat OM is a resilience mindset coach based in New York City. Her signature program, Mindful Resilience, provides 21 tools and lessons to help keep you emotionally resilient through life. She is also the author of Resilient Love: Turn Your Wounds into Your Wings. You can also find Kat OM at: KatOMLife.com | IG: kat.om.transform.your.life | FB: katOM30