How Can I Stay Positive and Hold Hope When the World is Suffering? How to Find the Light During Dark Times

As with the rest of the world, I can’t stop watching what is going on in Ukraine. One Tweet by David Axelrod, Senior Political Commentator at CNN, summed it up well, “It may be irrational, but I don’t want to turn the TV off and lose connection with what’s going on in Ukraine — as if by going to sleep, I’m abandoning the valiant people, facing down a huge invading army to save their country and democracy.”
 
 I told my friend, “Every morning, the first thing I do since this invasion started is I wake up and make sure President Zelensky is okay. Then I check on the rest of Ukraine.” I used to wake up, pray, and meditate first thing upon waking, but I can’t meditate wondering what’s going on in Ukraine. 
 
 I haven’t prayed this hard since I was married to my ex, who was on a SWAT team and went out on missions across the country. I would lay in bed early in the morning wondering if he made it through the night? What an odd job he had, I often thought. My jobs in special events at the time, working at a music festival, or doing fashion shows during our marriage didn’t require me to put my life on the line. Unless I was driving like a madwoman on I-95 to get to work on time. 
 
Like so many, I have a lot of compassion and empathy for what is happening in Ukraine. I support them in every way I can from here in the U.S. Through online support and donations. However, although my heart aches for them, it doesn’t mean I have to suffer. I’ll explain why. 
 
 One of the main things I learned as a coach is suffering does not help people. In fact, it can drag them even further down. Almost everyone knows that one person you can’t tell anything to, because they will take it worse than you even if it’s your bad news. 
 
That person is most likely your mother. I love my mom, and for the most part, I can tell her a lot of things, and she handles it well. But there was a time I was going through something difficult, and she was so worried sick about me. I had to tell her, “Can you please stop? I know you mean well, and I know you feel really bad, but I can’t take care of you right now and myself at the same time.” 
 
Okay, that may not be fair to moms. It’s not easy not being worried about someone who is literally a part of you, but I think you get the gist of what I mean; how our worrying and suffering doesn’t help others. For the same reason, when you’re down, you don’t want to be around that person that drags you down and makes you feel worse. 
 
As a mindfulness resilience coach, I can’t help anyone if I feel as bad as they do. They’ll probably stop coming to me because I’m not helping them. My role is to be the life preserver and give them something to hold onto. I need to meet them where they are with love and compassion, not with pain and suffering. Then I help give them the tools to shift their mindset to help pull themselves up. When they’re ready. This is why it’s so important that I take care of my own mental well-being, which means cultivating my own inner peace and joy every day. This keeps me grounded and closest in connection to solutions, hope, inspiration. Fear and suffering are the complete opposite of that. There is no hope, inspiration, or solutions. 
 
 I make no apologies. I start my day with prayer, meditation, and yoga. Then I go for a 3-mile walk (weather permitting). People have asked me, “Where do you find the time?” You have to make time for your self-care and your mental well-being. I don’t sit around watching a lot of t.v. in the evening. In the evening is when I work with clients, work on my business, and write. 

When I hear people say, “How can I be happy when there’s so much suffering in the world?” Here is what I tell my clients, “Your suffering doesn’t help the world. It only adds to more suffering in the world. Then everyone is walking around depressed. It is our light and our compassion that helps to heal the world. When you take care of your mind, body, and spirit to cultivate more peace of mind and joy in your life, you have the energy to be that light for others. Think of it as recharging yourself to build a strong foundation so you can be that light. 
 
 Think of someone you admire? Someone who is an inspiration to you. Are they an inspiration because they carry the weight of everyone’s suffering or because they lift you out of your suffering and make you believe in hope again? 
 
 This is what makes President Zelensky such an incredible leader. As someone said on Twitter, “Putin had no idea when he invaded Ukraine that he would turn Zelensky into a hero overnight.” That is because Zelensky’s bravery is not for show. It’s from the heart. He is out there on the streets telling the people of Ukraine not to fear because he and his administration are out there to help protect them. It is because of his strength, not his suffering that he empowers them. Only a connection to our light can do this. Only love can do this. Only love is stronger than fear. Love of the people and his country he is fighting for. 
 
This doesn’t’ mean we have to be strong and be positive all the time either. It’s okay to cry because we are scared, and we want them to be safe. I cry when I pray for their safety. I cry at the beauty of their bravery. And allow myself to be comforted by prayer. 
 
However, as humans, we are capable of feeling many emotions at the same time. We don’t have to choose only suffering and live in suffering. We can be compassionate towards others but also happy for our children. We can be happy for friends sharing good news. We can be grateful for the clothes on our backs, the food on our plates, and the air we breathe. Give yourself permission to feel all those things. Give yourself permission to cultivate more peace and joy in your life and feel the light. 
 
Being the light doesn’t mean showering your happiness on someone suffering. Being the light often means comforting, being loving, supportive, kind, and compassionate. It’s listening and allowing them to feel heard. It’s letting them know you are there and you care. It’s asking them, “How can I help?” “What can I do to support you?” This goes a lot further and truly helps them more than suffering ever will; to give them hope. 

For there is always light,
If only we’re brave enough to see it.
If only we’re brave enough to be it.
— Amanda Gorman

Kat OM is the author of Resilient Love: Turn Your Wounds into Your Wings, blogger, and Mindfulness Resilience Coach. Kat helps her readers and clients find healing, empowerment, and resilience through mindful tools and practices. You can find Kat OM at:
KatOMLife.com | IG: kat.om.transform.your.life | FB: katOM30