15 Things Affecting Your Mental Health and Happiness You May Not Realize. How Many Are You Doing?—Part 2

In part 2 of this two-part series, we will continue going through the 15 things that may be affecting your mental health you may not realize. 

If you haven’t read 1–8, you can read it here.
(Note: These tips can help many people, but does not replace therapy if therapy is needed.)

Here is list 9 - 15 of things that may be affecting your mental health and happiness you may not realize.

9. Taking Pride in Being a Giver, not a Taker
People who are givers are good at giving but usually aren’t very good takers. They want to feel love but are better at giving love than receiving love.

As a giver, it feels so good to give. But as a giver, you know nothing is worse than giving a gift to someone who won’t take it or doesn’t feel they deserve it. When you don’t accept a gift, you are denying the giver the same thing. They are giving it to you because they want you to have it. They want to give to you because you deserve it.

The best people are the ones who love your gift. It’s time to start being that person too, and stop being the crappy gift receiver.

Tip: Awareness is the key. Become aware of where you are rejecting love in all its forms and become open to receiving it. It could come in the form of a compliment or a gift. Start allowing yourself to be loved and receive gifts, and know you are worthy of them.

10. Looking to Friends to Make You Feel Better
Nothing is better than a friend who helps you through a difficult time. Yes, that’s what friends are for. You should be able to reach out to your friends for support. However, at some point, if you’re going through a challenging time where your depression runs deep for a long time, you may become dependent on your friends for support. And your friends may not be equipped to handle it. A sign of dependence is if you start panicking if they’re not around or get angry when they aren’t available for you. Or your friends start getting tired of hearing your gripe about your ex, or you’re the heartbreak of your breakup. It may be time to seek professional help and give your friends a break. It’s not that you’re a burden. Your friends love you dearly, but it is crossing the friendship boundary on what a friend can do. We like to joke that our friends are our therapists, but the best therapist is really someone professionally trained. Your friends are not trained or prepared to help you in a way a therapist or a life coach can. You can still call your friends in between sessions as you make progress.

Tip: Get over the stigma. Everyone needs a therapist from time to time. Call a therapist or a life coach. Your future self will thank you, and so will your friends.

11. Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a great way to make you feel bad about yourself. Bestselling author and motivational speaker Brene Brown explains two ways we compare ourselves to others: 1) We compare ourselves with others who are doing better than we are. Which makes us feel bad about ourselves. 2) We compare ourselves to people we think are doing better than to feel better about ourselves. Either way doesn’t make us better people.

I say comparison is a vicious cycle that leads to unhealthy competition, which can be harmful to your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues.

Tip: Again, this is about self-awareness. Becoming aware of when you are in the cycle of comparing yourself and competing with your friends, family, and colleagues. Know that you can change and stop the pattern anytime, and choose to see your friend as your soul sister, not your competition.

12. Not Getting Outdoors and Moving Your Body
Sitting at a desk all day or sitting at home watching tv all day and not seeing sunlight has a bigger impact on your mental well-being than you realize. Lack of movement can give you low energy, making you feel lethargic. Getting outside and being in the sun and moving your body even for at least 20 mins can help your body release endorphins. Our body’s natural happy hormones to lift your mood.

Tip: Set a goal to get outside for at least 20 minutes a day, or at least 3 times a week. If you need accountability, ask a friend to join you or walk your dog for a longer period of time instead of letting them out in the backyard.

13. Not Eating Right
Our body can crave a lot of foods that aren’t good for us. Cheeseburgers, chips, fries, pizza, pastries. Not only do these foods create all kinds of medical problems for us, from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, and diabetes. Just getting news of a bad health report can also make you feel depressed. Unhealthy food itself can also cause depression. To learn more about the mind-body-food connection, read this article from Harvard.com. 

Tip: Google and YouTube are excellent resources for learning more about how to eat for better mental and physical health.

14. You Feel Unhappy or Stressed with Life but Won’t Go to Therapy or to a Life Coach Because You Think Mental Health is for Others but Isn’t For You — without Realizing Mental Wellness is for Everyone. It’s like someone saying, “I want to lose 10 lbs, but diet and exercise are for other people; it isn’t for me.” Just like physical health, mental health doesn’t just happen one day. It won’t happen until you get finally do something about it.

Tip: Listen to podcasts, buy a self-help book, and watch YouTube videos. Start today if you want to feel better and live a better life now.

15. Not Making Your Mental Health a Priority Every Single Day
You read a self-help book last year. It was great, but it didn’t last. Again, just like your physical health, you can’t exercise and diet for one year, thinking it will last into the following year. Just like physical health, diet, and exercise, it’s a practice you have to keep up every day.

Your mental health is the foundation which everything else in your life stems from. When your mental health isn’t strong, everything in your life seems to fall apart. This is why everyday self-care of your mental well-being is so essential.

. . .

Kat OM is a resilience mindset coach based in New York City. Her signature program, Mindful Resilience, provides 21 tools and lessons to help keep you emotionally resilient through life. She is also the author of Resilient Love: Turn Your Wounds into Your Wings. You can also find Kat OM at: KatOMLife.com | IG: kat.om.transform.your.life | FB: katOM30